Porn Industry Requests 5 Billion Dollar Condom

DB — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 08:00:13 +0000

In a rare case of considering preventative measures, leaders of the porn industry including Joe Francis and Larry Flynt are set to submit a formal petition to the US Congress requesting $5 billion dollars in federal bailout money.

When questioned, porn industry leaders attempted to state their case with a straight face as if they believe there’s a chance that the federal government will bend over, make an O-face and leave the porn industry 5 billion dollars in bailout money on the night stand. It’s not like they’re the finance or auto industry, but what happens on Capitol Hill stays on Capitol Hill.

Insert jokes about hoping the case gets to Supreme Court so Clarence Thomas can rule.

According to Hustler founder Larry Flynt, “People are too depressed to be sexually active.”

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Now, pundits such as Keith Olberman are punning their way through this story, which is what should be done. But others are more dismissive and enraged by the gesture.

Both sides have valid points. On one end, why is the Porn Industry’s request for Bailout Money, funds that would be used merely for infrastructure and optimization of a still extremely profitable industry, any more ridiculous than the financial whores who couldn’t make their numbers and “convinced” congress (lobby *wink*), to divest struggling Americans of tax money so they could maintain their ridiculous Wall St. bonuses. But their is also validity within the rages against the Porn Industry’s request. Five billion dollars could be better spent in many other places.

Over the next couple evenings, corporate whoredom will weigh the pros and cons of not only the Porn Industry’s request for funds, but as we attempt to prove the following equation:

A=SE+BS+L

C-HO Mesothelioma Rating = 2, for now.

The corporate whores of the porn industry would take the money and run if they received it, but their gesture, as greedy and audacious as it may be, my have a bit of altruism, whether or not they realized it.

Corporate Whoredom » porn industry bailout woes

Porn Industry Requests 5 Billion Dollar Condom