Over a month ago, Corporate Whoredom reported how Max Power received a disturbing email from Greenpeace whereas Greenpeace said the Polar Bears would be extinct if certain demands were not met.
Dear The All Mighty Max,
Greenpeace polar bears
36 days | 2 hours | 10 minutes
Time is running out! If you don’t take action before this countdown hits zero, it will be too late.
So, there hasn’t been a decrease of Polar Bears in my back yard. A quick search of Twitter Trending topics and Google Trends gives me nothing which would indicate that the Polar Genocide has indeed taken place. I don’t see anything on the social sites nor on CNN and the like.
Well then what the fuck, Greenpeace? Chickenshits. Where’s my fresh supply of Polar steaks at?
Ahh, Google News gives me something. An increase in stories on polar bears attacking humans and a news story on CNN about how Interior Secretary Ken Salazar decided to keep the Endangered Species protection on Polar Bears minimal.
Ahh, strategic, Greenpeace, very strategic and resourceful. Back off and let right wing zealotic nazis paint the bulleyes on those wide hides for you. That explains the increase in Polar Bear attacks: their defending themselves.
Why buy the cow when you can get the polar bear…
C-HO Mesolthelioma Rating: 9. Greenpeace gets a big huge ass 9 for making me go look up all those stories instead of following through with something newsworthy which would have given me back the minutes of my life spent having to track down your end game. Follow through on something. Show some character. This is why the bad guy at the end of the movie reveals his plot just before it spoils. It isn’t for the Hollywood ending where the hero finds a little nugget of information in the revealing and saves the day. No. It’s so we don’t have to go find it because if you don’t spoonfeed me the answer, someone else will. Welcome to free market capitalism with a seemingly endless supply of buyers and sellers.
As for the bears, we should relocate a few to more understandable locations. How about Secretary Salazar’s backyard. Apparently he doesn’t see the upside in protecting polar bears so taking care of a few shouldn’t be much trouble.
As T-ShirtHell.com would say, “What would Jesus do for a Klondike bar?”
