When I initially sat down to write a new article for my faithful reader, I intended to discuss the government bail-outs and share some thoughts about bears.
That was two months ago. By now, everyone who is interested has been beaten in the face with hundreds of hours of media coverage discussing the bailouts, and many bears are currently hibernating and do not pose an immediate threat.
So, instead, I’m going to discuss something much more critical, and much more likely to ruin your night.
I stopped at a local liquor store a couple weeks ago to pick up beer for football day. While there, I walked past this:
With a sticker that read, “Holiday Sale – $6.99”
Normally when considering alternatives to beer, I prefer to go with Gin, or occasionally rum. However, I do like a vodka & tonic or a screwdriver from time to time, and 42 Below is a common choice when I do choose vodka, so it seemed like a reasonable idea to try a new product from a brand I like at a 75% discount. I was wrong. Very, very wrong.
In case you think you may enjoy this product, I’ve compiled a list of questions you should ask yourself before deciding to purchase honey-flavored vodka:
Do you fantasize about being completely covered in honey? (and not for kinky sexual reasons)
Do you have an overwhelming urge to inject pure honey directly into your brain?
Do you want to feel like you need to vomit on yourself right now?
Are you Winnie the Pooh?
If the answer to any of those questions is “Yes,” you’re part of the target market for 42 Below Honey. If not, then you should avoid this drink at all costs. Failure to take this warning seriously will result in a horrific sense of nausea each time you take a sip of your drink, and a potentially awful hangover the next morning due to drinking an entire bottle of honey vodka, just to get it out of your house. (look, just because it’s disgusting doesn’t mean I’m going to throw out a full bottle of vodka. That‘s wasteful) Making the hangover even worse, you’ll probably also have to drink five or six beers to get the taste of honey vodka out of your mouth. Your best option is to avoid the middle man altogether and just drink the beers.
C-HO Mesothelioma Rating: 7 out of 10
