It’s been three months since I’ve seen it. I’ll watch it tomorrow. Then this weekend I’ll watch the first and the second back to back and see if the experience compares to the euphoria we felt seeing it in theaters after waiting a decade.

• Original Cast
• Original Crew
• Original Laughs

Now, the only f#ckin’ question is:  “Do I take a sick day to watch it?”

C-HO: Corporate Mesothelioma Rating:  8 out of 10 – on MYSELF

for not going out to f#ckin’ Wal-Mart right f#ckin’ now and buying myself a f#ckin’ copy and staying up drinkin’ good fuckin’ Irish Whiskey.

“I can’t believe that just f#ckin’ happened!” – The Boondock Saints

Time to go to bed. There’s only one Prayer I’ll say tonight (after I ask for a few old friends to be blessed):

And Shepherds we shall be
For thee, my Lord, for thee.
Power hath descended forth from Thy hand
Our feet may swiftly carry out Thy commands.
So we shall flow a river forth to Thee
And teeming with souls shall it ever be.

In Nomeni Patri Et Fili Spiritus Sancti.

But We Wouldn’t be The Whoredom if We didn’t ask:

Do you think sales of Boondocks Saints II:  All Saints Day will compare to the original?

Afterall, it was the cult following once it came out on DVD that made The Boon Dock Saints the fascination it is today.

What do you guys think?

BoonDock Saints

Originally uploaded by Kilted MadMan

It’s no secret that Boondock Saints Franchise creator Troy Duffy and his begrudged movie critics have differing opinions on what makes a good film.

The charges critics made of the film include:

• 1) Copying Tarantino, John Woo, Mario Puzo, and moreorless anyone who’s made an action film
• 2) Horrific language
• 3) Offending the Irish, Mexicans, Catholics (Irish Catholics I’m assuming), the Corleones, cat lovers, and the Almighty
• 4) Objectification of Special Agent Eunice Bloom, the only major female character with significant screen time (for those who aren’t a fan of the Boondock Saints Franchise, yet, the MacManus brothers’ mother was the reason they learned five languages and if you saw the uncut version of Boondock Saints, you actually meet her)
• 5) Both “Stiff acting” & “Over acting”

With the now-national release of Boondock Saints II, Troy Duffy has shown once again that the only critical voices he chose to listen to when making the film were of his fans.

As shown in C-Ho’s previous article, a simple Twitter search of “Boondock Saints” shows the love actual moviegoers have for this cult film. And for the record, the popular Twitter RT during the post: 

RT @TFLN: (518): just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her

Corporate Whoredom will spend the next few days breaking down the hypocrisies associated with each charge and inconsistencies amongst critics with respect to each charge as well as show examples of other “great” movies “guilty” of these charges. The analysis will lead up to a convincing arguent which supports our initial assumption:

Movie critics are tring to hard to pan Boondock Saints II:  All Saints Day out of fear their employers will discover 1) they love this non-domesticated movie and 2) they moonlight as bloggers.

And while we do this, we’ll point out that Troy Duffy has a better grasp of the 2.0 world than his critical adversaries.

Were there any charges we left out?

The series

What has precipitated this return?
He’s been inspired to serve as a narrator for Yahoo!‘s final descent into uselessness.  The former internet giant is quickly dying, and Max Power will be tossing stones and mocking the death spasms.

I (you can refer to yourself in the third person* only so many times before you start to feel like a huge prick) will be making this a regular topic, focusing on many different aspects of Y!’s suckishness, including their completely useless search marketing platform (that’s being turned over to microsoft), the ridiculously retarded “Top Stories” on their homepage, and their general incompetence regarding every aspect of their business.  Except Free Fantasy Sports.  That’s really the only thing Yahoo!’s got going for them at this point.

I’ll be back with more later.

*since I’m referring to myself by an alias, would that make it the 4th person? Max Power is confused, needs gin.

she’s popped up a little since then, gay rights activist and the like, but now she’s splattering the headlines of CNN’s website (at the time of this post).

Oh let the jokes begin:

“She’ll have still have had less cosmetic surgery than her mother.”

“Now she can sing both parts to ‘I’ve Got You, Babe.’“

“The expensive surgery is going to go against her parents’ belief in FREE love.”

As the jokes keep “pounding rhythm to the brain,” the fact that Chasity Bono is deciding to have plastic surgery is not why Corporate Whoredom presents the story. The reason has nothing to do with Chasity Bono. For example:

“Who the hell under 35 knew who the hell Chasity Bono was before the story?” Yeah, both of you commune hippies. I had to call my mama and ask who Chasity Bono is.

Oh, no. Not about Chasity Bono at all. The simple unmitigated fact is that of all the stories going on with the day, Cnn.com decides it worthwhile to make Chasity Bono’s sex change the top story. Liberal much? Not that I am a part of any political affiliation, but the fact that CNN went with an over-hyped fluff piece forced me to go check out FoxNews. Thanks, assholes.

1) Leave Chasity Bono the hell alone.

2) Quit trying to tug on the heartstings of Left Coast liberals.

3) Sono Bono is still fuckin’ dead and Cher still won’t give you tickets to her next concert for running the story.

And to answer the question, “Who is Chasity Bono?” The answer is that Chasity Bono is the daughter of Sonny and Cher. Who are Sonny and Cher? Ahhh, the Beat Goes On…

C-HO Mesothelioma Rating:  4

Corporate Whoredom gives a C-HO Mesothelioma rating of 4 to CNN for thinking that the daughter/soon-to-be-son of Sonny & Cher was more important that the WHO saying that the Swine Flu epidemic is unstoppable. And, PLEASE, don’t ask Chasity Boneo if she still believes in gay and lesbian rights. Don’t be that much of a political-corporate whore.

Hell, report on David Carridine’s Death a little more. Your competition reports the death is NOT a suicide. That’s intriguing celebrty news that’s in search of the truth – if you follow celebrity news

The 2009 Corporate Whoredom Spring Retreat has gone off without much a’hitch. The content schedule has been planned with meticulous attention to detail and with the hiring of our Conservative Political writer, Lac Luster, the 2009-10 year is geared to be our best year ever.

I report with great sadness that Jesalyn Faythe will not be writing for us this season. Scheduling conflicts are to blame. The good news is that she is pursing a personal project and when she is ready we will report more.

Lac Luster’s first heroic act was to make sure our supply chain was reinforced n kept in tact. There was a point in the retreat where we weren’t sure whether or not we had the resources to continue. But thanks to Lac’s bravery, the retreat continued fluidly.

It is this kind of resillience and agression that had C-HO open up the purse strings, pursue his tactical services, and pay him like an intern. Why else would we would we hire a kool-aid drinking right wing country boy?

2009-2010 Expectations

You will see more political sparring. Given how the US Federal Government owns almost as much of Wall St. as the Japanese, we figured it’d be appropriate.

You will also see us put more corporate products and solutions to the test. We will put them up against the cold, hard steel of Corporate Whoredom and see how they stand up.

Goshdamned mosquitos. Time to settle up with the resort manager n go play purchasing manager.

Anyone know the name of a good video camera?

As you probably know, the results from the 2003 MLB drug tests were leaked and 104 players, according to the leak, tested positive. Only one name was leaked: MLB media diplomat Alex Rodriguez.

Now, I am not at all surprised A-Rod tested positive. The Whoredom has been pounding ESPN and the media for how little of a story this should be. “Little” as in “nobody should be shocked. Quit acting like you just found out that the ‘Tooth Fairy’ was just your parents stealing a dollar from your piggy bank and sneaking it under your pillow while ganking lost tooth and throwing it in the garbage.”

What I am surprised about is how Bud Selig has the audacity to say that Alex Rodriguez “shamed the game.” Bud Selig has been Commissioner of MLB either in the interim or full time since 1992. His tenure is longer than most, if not almost all of the careers of the players for which he is responsible. He has been the Commissioner for most if not all of the Steroids era in MLB. How the Hell does he even try to feign being blameless. Where in the blind-moron’s Hell does Bud Selig get the notion that he can polish up his halo and run his aura through the ordeal.

When does the blame fall down upon him? If impeached Illinois Rod Blagojevich would have had any of this under his watch, he would have been gone last year. If the Rod did the bended-knee plea “I promise to clean it up” crap, he would have been laughed out (again).

So, I pose 2 questions.

1) Why the Hell is Bud Selig aloud to parade around blameless?

2) The MLB is getting slapped on the wrist for not having tougher policies on illicit, illegal substances. Many of the players pollute themselves with ILLEGAL substances and all MLB gets from our faithful government is a stern warning to “do it better.” This is corporate whoredom at its finest.

For a country so hellbent on spending billions of dollars they don’t have in order to try and rid the country of illicit drugs, they are sure as hell turning quite the blind eye to a couple hundred high-profile open-n-shut cases.

I love the game, but if I did half of what these players did constantly and for such exploitation to the extent where even a half-assed DA could get hundreds of millions of dollars in fraud and /or theft brought up on them, I’d be in solitary confinement and wouldn’t be allowed to see the sun until I’m fifty-five. The same sun these manipulative, cheating bastards take for granted each and every summer.

The sad truth is that even this might not make Bud Selig the Corporate Whore of the week.