At some point in the past (4 days ago), I may have mentioned the ass-suckingly awful qualities of Yahoo!
Well, the Yahoo! “top stories” have noticed, and decided to offer me additional evidence to support my theory that Yahoo! is quickly becoming the infected asshole of the internet.
I present: Why Michelle Obama’s Hair Matters

The title alone smacks me in the face with retarded asshole logic.  First, Michelle Obama’s hair doesn’t matter at all in any relevant way.  She’s a woman who has hair and what she does with it rates on my “importance scale” somewhere between Billy Likes Soda and Miss Lippy’s Car is Green.*

Do you want to know what I want from the First Lady?  Not a god damn thing.  If possible, I’d prefer that she’s not a babbling asshole who devises retarded plans for fighting the “War on Drugs” (fuck you, Nancy Reagan, you worthless bitch), but ultimately she has no authority or responsibilities in our government, so I don’t care.
If Mrs. Obama wants to give a speech about race relations or concepts of beauty in America, I’ll watch.  If she has something relevant to say about any issue affecting my life of the life of anyone else I know, I’ll listen.  But if a bunch of assholes want to ignore those things and instead whine about the social implications of her hairstyle, I want to set their damn heads on fire.
Yahoo! obviously isn’t the only outlet for these idiotic discussions, but Yahoo! is the one the pisses me off today, so screw ‘em.

Yahoo!, you’ve reminded me again how much you suck.

C-HO Mesothelioma Rating – 8.5 – Yahoo! is still a portal for millions of internet users, many of whom are stupid and easily influenced. Constantly showering them with idiocy and glossing over anything important is a key factor in leading us toward the entirely plausible future depicted in the movie Idiocracy

*Billy Madison has been on cable a lot lately. Next week I’ll probably have Teen Wolf references.

President Obama is going to learn quickly and painfully that the American patience goes all the way to the next commercial break. Change can take generations. Some cities can’t afford to wait that long. Families losing their homes should not stand for this. Nobody’s wrong. In classic American Cowboy tradition, Obama will need to keep firing with both guns a-blazing until the economic pump. As stated previously, it never takes one push to prime a pump.

Are classic conservative economists correct? Should the markets correct themselves? Or are the liberal Keynesian correct and government intervention is needed?

They’re both right.

How the Hell Is that Possible?

Free Market runs with an assumption that the punishment will fit the crime, therefore nobody will want to break the law. Even when it comes to risk analysis, the analysis should keep people in check. It runs on a “black and white” morality scale. No sense in corruption or fraud since, in the end, you will get caught.

Keynesian Economists always need a little more to fight towards. The government can be the rudder that guides the economic boat down stream. 5% unemployment is considered maximum efficiency because then we’re still growing. Like the old church saying, “a church not in the red is not doing enough.” When Keynes developed the theory, 5% didn’t represent millions without work who are looking for work. By today’s standards, the mindset is almost Malthusian (the Catholic priest whose approach to dealing with overpopulation was to let the poor starve if they couldn’t feed themselves). U.S. unemployment only went up 2%. Sounds like a small number until you figure where it comes from. Not only is it almost a million more jobs, but those jobs weren’t cut evenly across the board. Manufacturing, R&D, Tourism, Retail – the industries hit hardest. And if you live and work in Elkhart, IN a manufacturing town that made RVs and mobile homes for the touring retired, your home now runs the risk of being a ghost town. Elkhart County is at 15% unemployment and the city itself is at 18%. Obama is right, the spiral will continue. Like Finn wrote today, the inhabitants of the city are gonna start running before they go over the damn. Those who aren’t trapped in mortgages are going to run. Those trapped are going to try n find work, somewhere. Chicago, Vegas, Austin – if they have white collar skill sets. Then they’ll have to live in shitbox apartment and send money back to their family while they hope someone is dumb enough to buy their now-worthless home. They’re like dried-up gold mining towns. Painting with a broad brush, but you get the grim picture.

The reason both sides are right is because both sides are two sides of a coin that desperately need each other and finally need to admit their dependence. Free Markets are only as free as the efficiency of the policing and enforcing of the rules that govern them (yes, they technically aren’t “free.” It’s a damned term.) Keynesian needs the entrepreneurial spirit that can only be found in Classical Free markets.

It’s not going to take a philosophical argument. It’s going to take an effort. Everybody who can help should help. If the government can help, should we let a philosophical disagreement stop it? This isn’t Rome. We’re not dubbing Obama “Caesar.” At least not today and probably not tomorrow.

Our problems in a nutshell include:

• Unemployed workers with 20th century job skills
• Years of a decreased birth rate resulting in reduced proportional markets
• International lack of faith in the U.S. economy
• Credit industry founded on manipulated corporate portfolios

All this comes from the manipulation of A=SE+L. The real formula we’ve been working on is A=SE+BS+L. I’ll break each of these four down shortly and why it all leads to A=SE+BS+L.

Now try being President Obama

C-HO Mesothelioma Rating: 8. If it goes all the way up to 11, no one will be able to report about it because we’ll be back out in the fields 20 hours a day.