YES! CBS! The same company that went into a hizzy fit about this nipple slip during the 2004 Super Bowl…

Remember “the” nipple slip. From the “Wardrobe Malfunction” – those types of mishaps that occur when you reach around, grab, pull, and remove a piece of garment that exposes a breast. It was this type of television that was allegedly offensive to American audiences and resulted in huge fines levied, apologies aplenty confessed during national press conferences, and the revving of news cycles for months.

This same network which thought a moment’s exposure was unthinkable has now endorsed the desecration of one of America’s most sacred holiday symbols: Frosty the Snowman.

Unless y’all thought Frosty…

• has a porn collection
• a great bullwhip
• has a rash, WHERE????

Somewhere, Janet Jackson has to be thinking, “My breasts are more offensive than THAT?”

Someone give that lady her money back.

C-Ho Corporate Mesothelioma Rating: 7 out of 10

What does C-Ho think? We…LOVE IT! Finally, the Big 3 (or 4) have finally paid the piper.

How does CBS explain it away?
“The target audience for these TV shows is different than for the Super Bowl.”
Yeah, I’d bite on that but for 3 things:

1. Kids probably are up when the ads air.
2. Kids probably will roll back the TiVo when they see their favorite snowman, while having no clue what they’re in for.
3. Oh, look what’s making page 1 for both a Google & YouTube searches for “Frosty”

It’s amazing how this Search Engine search sh*t works. Like it was planned!

And Once Pandora’s Box Is Open…

Once prime time TV slips into risque viral ads, Pandora’s box is open. What’s good for the goose will be f*ckin’ b*lls-*ss sweet for the gander. CBS has now lost all leverage to say what can and can’t be used on TV, up to Dirty Frosty.

You know the one really getting screwed out of this is Wendys. Whose ever gonna be able to order their ice cream treats the same way again?

New times, new presidents, new levels of decency. What’s next?

(photo credit: from Poppy Lov via Flickr)

First, it’s important for me to make it clear that I don’t care whether players were using steroids, HGH, amphetamines or anything else that might help them stay just a little stronger, a little faster or a little sharper.  Until a couple years ago, baseball had no drug policy.  I don’t have a problem with guys who are doing everything they can, within the rules, to excel in their sport.

However, I do have a problem with whiny douche-bags who lie about it and claim to be pure and innocent.  I don’t need every guy who’s ever tried any kind of performance enhancing drug to come out and tell everyone with a weepy, embarrassed public apology.  In fact, I don’t want to hear an apology at all.  I’d prefer to hear a little honesty when guys are directly asked about it.

For example:
Reporter:  Did you take steroids?
Player:  Yeah, I did.  At the time, there were no rules against it.  There were a lot of guys benefiting from them, and I decided to take them to try and get just a little bit better.  I’ve pretty much done nothing but play baseball since I was 15.  I’m really not qualified to do anything else.  I’m going to do anything I can to make sure my body is performing at its peak so that I can be as good as I can and make as much money as possible during my playing career.  There are some serious health risks, and I’d certainly advise kids against using drugs, but it was a good business decision for me at the time and a risk I was willing to take.

Now, what’s wrong with that?  Why can’t fans be treated like intelligent people who are capable of understanding an honest answer?  Because there’s less money in it, that’s why.  It’s better for us to watch in awe as these athletic Gods live out our childhood fantasies, than to think that these are just a bunch of guys who worked harder than we were willing to consider, and sometimes needed a little help to get to the top of their game.

I don’t need some asshole apologizing to me for taking something that might make him better at his job.  If there was a drug that I could take that would make me slightly better at my job and get me a significantly higher salary, I’d probably take it, too.  And I sure as hell wouldn’t apologize for it later just to appease a bunch of ignorant jerk-offs who want to believe the business is “pure” and “untainted.”  Grow up, you whiny, pathetic little bitches.

C-HO Mesothelioma Rating – 4 – Not for A-Rod taking steroids, but for A-Rod being a douche bag about it and for the national sports media reacting like a bunch frightened little girls who just realized the Tooth Fairy is really their mom.

I stopped at a local liquor store a couple weeks ago to pick up beer for football day.  While there, I walked past this:

With a sticker that read, “Holiday Sale – $6.99”

Normally when considering alternatives to beer, I prefer to go with Gin, or occasionally rum.  However, I do like a vodka & tonic or a screwdriver from time to time, and 42 Below is a common choice when I do choose vodka, so it seemed like a reasonable idea to try a new product from a brand I like at a 75% discount.  I was wrong.  Very, very wrong.

In case you think you may enjoy this product, I’ve compiled a list of questions you should ask yourself before deciding to purchase honey-flavored vodka:
Do you fantasize about being completely covered in honey?  (and not for kinky sexual reasons)
Do you have an overwhelming urge to inject pure honey directly into your brain?
Do you want to feel like you need to vomit on yourself right now?
Are you Winnie the Pooh?

If the answer to any of those questions is “Yes,” you’re part of the target market for 42 Below Honey.  If not, then you should avoid this drink at all costs.  Failure to take this warning seriously will result in a horrific sense of nausea each time you take a sip of your drink, and a potentially awful hangover the next morning due to drinking an entire bottle of honey vodka, just to get it out of your house.  (look, just because it’s disgusting doesn’t mean I’m going to throw out a full bottle of vodka. That‘s wasteful)  Making the hangover even worse, you’ll probably also have to drink five or six beers to get the taste of honey vodka out of your mouth.  Your best option is to avoid the middle man altogether and just drink the beers.

C-HO Mesothelioma Rating: 7 out of 10