Bill Gates to Stop Hurricanes. Will Scientists Try to Stop Gates?

Posted on | August 29, 2009 | No Comments

(Famed Software Genius (Pirate?) Bill Gates Sets out to Tame the High Seas)

Bill Gates, the marketing genius who got the public hooked on Windows by giving it away for free is at it again. Nope, I’m not talking about how Microsoft keeps giving software away to students to keep strong a new generation’s addiction. Oh, no-no-no. Microsoft is Ballmer’s problem right now.

The man who changed the world is now trying to change the weather. No really, he’s trying to change the weather.

Hurricanes in particular.

According to CNN, Bill Gates has partnered with a group of scientist who have applied for a patent that will help minize the power of hurricanes.

How Will Bill Gate’s Hurricane Defense Plan Work?

Hurricane’s get their go-juice from ocean’s warm surface water. Gate’s hurricane patent will circulate the ocean water that’s in the Hurricane’s path by pulling the cool Hurricane water near the bottom of the ocean and raising it to the surface. At the same time, the warm Ocean water near the surface will be cycled back down to the bottom floor.

The effort will take some serious hardware. In this case, a fleet of barges and 500 foot conduits.

Scary enough, the idea is flushed with good intentions, but CorporateWhoredom.com has a few questions.

1) Storms, like any hungry beast in nature, follows the food. If Gate’s ships can actually stop the path, what prevents the storm from simply taking a different paths? Are the barage that fast?

2) If Storms keep changing paths, what will that do to weather patterns as a whole? If the water doesn’t make it to the land, won’t there be droughts?

3) How will storms patterns around the world be affected? Not that we’re chaoticians, once you start playing with the weather, you start playing with the livelihoods of billions of citizens of the planet who are dependent on the weather. Will Gates’ team be able to consider the contingencies?

4) What about the Aquatic life? Not only could you be switching up their habitat, but also, “how do you keep the aquatic life from being sucked up in the tubes?”

5) Who do you put in charge of the fleet? Who gets to stand in the path of the hurricane. If their plan fails, they don’t have an escape plan out there in the water. Ever seen the movie “The Perfect Storm?”

6) More Bacon than the Pan Can Handle – What if there are more hurricanes than there are fleets to handle the storm? Which country gets spare – besides the U.S of course?

C-HO Mesothelioma Rating: 4 out of 10. CNN further reports that several scientists doubt the plan will work. But if it does, well then wow. How do you keep from having a Messiah complex?

Once you start trying to change the weather, you might as well go all the way and try to control the weather. Either way, the weather patterns will never be the same.

And the world will never be the same.

Are we ready for this?

Will know when Gates becomes successful with his hurricane controling when 1600 Amphitheatre Parkway, Mountain View, CA gets hit with a concentrated Category 5 apocalypse.

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