Chinese Democracy Is as Much Rock’s Savior as a Chinese Democracy
Posted on | November 29, 2008 | No Comments
Corporate Whoredom has listened many many times to the album that was supposed to save Rock, Guns n Roses “The Chinese Democracy.”
We’ve read David Fricke’s heroworsphipping of the album on rollingstone.com. (Now I remember why I canceled my subscription).
We’ve listened to the WBCN interview with Slash. (Slash. Don’t be humble.)
We’ve read Spin.com questioning what legend was left in pop culture.
We tried to download our coupon of the free 20 oz. Dr. Pepper.
We even read Guns n Roses Attorney Alan Gutman’s senseless corporate whore spinning of the botched Dr. Pepper promotion.
After many said listens and several skimmed reviews, Corporate Whoredom safely believes that though “”The Chinese Democracy” is definitely not the worst thing it’s ever heard, “The Chinese Democracy’s” chance of fulling the prophecy as the savior of Rock is about as probable as, well yes, a Chinese Democracy.
The insistence on Axl Rose on naming “The Chinese Democracy” a Guns n Roses album emulates The Temptations still performing at clubs and casinos even though 4 of the 5 original members who sang on such classic hits as “My Girl”, “Ain’t too Proud to Beg,” remain to this day, dead.
The is no Slash on this record. There is no Duff on this record. There is no signature riff on this record. The last record since Use Your Illusion that embodied any of the spirit, power or zest that once buoyed the kingdom of Guns n Roses was an album named Contraband from a little band named Velvet Revolver. Even with this revival, Contraband contained but faint traces of the metaphysical glory of Guns n Roses mixed in with really bad later-day Stone Temple Pilots.
Corporate Whoredom gives Guns n Roses “The Chinese Democracy” a Mesothelioma Rating of 3 for taking what is nothing more than a pretty damn fine Axl Rose solo album – C-Ho confesses – and daring to brand it the Guns n Roses album that was supposed to save Rock.
“But the single Chinese Democracy is on it.”
Guns n Roses was inspired enough by Led Zeppelin, the could have learned that a single on one album can be the title of another album. “From the Houses of the Holy,” (Plant/Page). Speaking of bands trying to move on without essential parts…
in the end, does this…
Really compare to this?
Corporate Whoredom hears Velvet Revolver is looking for a lead singer.
C-HO Mesothelioma Rating: 3 out of 10.
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