CBS Dirty Frosty Helps Big Three Open Pandora’s Box
Posted on | December 4, 2009 | No Comments
God love CBS. I mean, really, pick the metaphysical deity of your choice, pick a sacramental pose, and give CBS all the thanks in the world for these videos…
YES! CBS! The same company that went into a hizzy fit about this nipple slip during the 2004 Super Bowl…
Remember “the” nipple slip. From the “Wardrobe Malfunction” – those types of mishaps that occur when you reach around, grab, pull, and remove a piece of garment that exposes a breast. It was this type of television that was allegedly offensive to American audiences and resulted in huge fines levied, apologies aplenty confessed during national press conferences, and the revving of news cycles for months.
This same network which thought a moment’s exposure was unthinkable has now endorsed the desecration of one of America’s most sacred holiday symbols: Frosty the Snowman.
Unless y’all thought Frosty…
- has a porn collection
- a great bullwhip
- has a rash, WHERE????
Somewhere, Janet Jackson has to be thinking, “My breasts are more offensive than THAT?”
Someone give that lady her money back.
C-Ho Corporate Mesothelioma Rating: 7 out of 10
What does C-Ho think? We…LOVE IT! Finally, the Big 3 (or 4) have finally paid the piper.
How does CBS explain it away?
“The target audience for these TV shows is different than for the Super Bowl.”
Yeah, I’d bite on that but for 3 things:
- Kids probably are up when the ads air.
- Kids probably will roll back the TiVo when they see their favorite snowman, while having no clue what they’re in for.
- Oh, look what’s making page 1 for both a Google & YouTube searches for “Frosty”
It’s amazing how this Search Engine search sh*t works. Like it was planned!
And Once Pandora’s Box Is Open…
Once prime time TV slips into risque viral ads, Pandora’s box is open. What’s good for the goose will be f*ckin’ b*lls-*ss sweet for the gander. CBS has now lost all leverage to say what can and can’t be used on TV, up to Dirty Frosty.
You know the one really getting screwed out of this is Wendys. Whose ever gonna be able to order their ice cream treats the same way again?
New times, new presidents, new levels of decency. What’s next?
(photo credit: from Poppy Lov via Flickr)
Tags: cbs dirty frosty > cbs inappropriate frosty > cbs viral videos
Boondock Saints 2.0 Triumph Part 7: Who Hasn’t Wanted to Be a Boondock Saint – Even for a Moment?
Posted on | December 3, 2009 | No Comments
Over the last couple weeks, Corporate Whoredom has gone into great detail to discuss how the Boondock Saints franchise didn’t focus on art so much as it focused on community.
Troy Duffy wasn’t trying to accomplish critical acclaim with his movies. No teary-eyed award receptions and trophy-clinching thank-you speeches. No “good job” thumbs-up from Jack Nicholson.
Like Billy Shakespeare, Troy was probably motivated by money because paying rent is such a selfish motivator. But Troy got to put what he love together into a vision. He forgo a template that would have allowed him to walk the primrose path of domesticated, “visionary”, filmmaking and instead went ahead and put moments on film that he felt would have made him jump out of his seat, time and time again, screaming, “F*ck Yeah.”
As Troy Duffy said in an interview on cinematical.com:
“the fans found this thing and made it. It was beyond criticism at the time because there was no big f*cking red carpet and advertising campaign…They made it their own thing, and they didn’t really give a sh*t what critics said. And they started protecting the film on the Internet.”
And because of that, people who shared his interests found this movie as well. Lucky for him, there’s a target market in family, larger than life characters, violence, and fraternity.
You can make a movie to achieve artistic feets. You can make a movie to tell people a story. Or in Troy Duffy’s case, you can make a film to relate to people. If you can create characters people wish they could be, even just for a moment, then you have something.
All that matters is that in the end, Troy knew that his fans get the feeling to be Saints, to be motivated to clean up the evil around them, and could put themselves in the Saints shoes. In the end, Troy knew the answer to the following question:
Civility aside, have you ever wanted to be a Boondock Saint – even for a moment?
F*ckin’-a right you did.
(photo credit: 1) Eli Rutten via Flickr 2) Shasta Fox via Flickr)
C-Ho Corporate Mesothelioma Rating: 0 out of Ten
Because what Troy Duffy did was technically whoredom, and because he was shamlessly aware of it, Corporate Whoredom levies no punishment as it stands alongside the millions of fans who have embraced the MacMannus brothers…
And shepherds we shall be,
For Thee, my Lord, for Thee.
Tags: boondock saints 2.0 > boondock saints community > corporate whoredom boondock saints > troy duffy movie
Boondock Saints 2.0 Triumph Part 6: Both Stiff and Over Acting? This Wasn’t a Porno!
Posted on | December 1, 2009 | No Comments
The last of the charges I read movie critics levy against Troy Duffy’s Boondock Saints wasn’t so much him as his crew of actors. But get this, actors were charged with both, “stiff,” acting and, “over-acting.”
What the f*ck are they talking about?
(Shakespeare? No. But even Bill could have told you their value)
This isn’t the case where people think a guitar is “flat” when it’s actually sharp (strings tighten from lack of play before they stretch, making the notes come out sharp). Y’all are professionals. You’re supposed to mean what you say.
Now, granted, Normam Reedus and Sean Patrick Flannery aren’t going to use these movies as references to get them into a Shakespearean Company, but I have to ask the critics:
“Who the Hell did you think Connor and Murphy MacMannus were?”
I’ll admit that in both movies, Duffy flashed brilliance in characters that were never fully developed. I wish the Saints’ ability to speak many languages would have been utilized more. Having the brothers speak in different languages around Rocco when they knew Rocco wanted to hear them would have been a great running gag. Or when they were tied up by Yakavetta’s crew, that would have been a great curve ball to throw their captors.
Also, in the second movie, they first saw Romeo as he was fighting a big guy while having both hands tied behind his back; then he never fought anyone the rest of the movie. The scene helped juxtapose his soft side more, but sh*t, not everyone has to be shot first. Kick their asses.
But I can’t blame the actors for it. It’s not like Reedus was going to break into Italian in the middle of the scene – unless he knew Italian that well.
Critiques aside, Reedus, Flannery, Connelly and company nailed what was important – their sense of honor and Fraternity. You wanted to hang out with these guys. You wanted to drink with them. They were one of the guys.
And that’s how you get a cult following of millions of fans.
Are you taking notes, Movie Critics?
C-Ho Corporate Mesothelioma Rating: 4 out of 10.
I’m sorry, but like the Eunice Bloom critique, if you critical critics can’t figure out why millions of fans loved these characters, you deserve your fate as movie critics and not script writers.
“Stiff” and “over” acting. I think some y’all were watching porn when you should have been paying closer attention to this classic.
(Photo Credit: 1 – Boondocksaintsii via Flickr 2 – A…P via Flickr)
PS – I do have to give critics some credit. Those of you who got over the fact that Billy Connelly was a comedian did give him his due props for his performance – and his hair.
Tags: boondock saints critics > boondock saints overacting > boondock saints stiff acting
Boondock Saints 2.0 Triumph Part 5: And She Can Kick Your Ass
Posted on | December 1, 2009 | No Comments
Of all the charges levied by movie critics against Troy Duffy’s Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day, the charge that made the least sense was that of the objectification of Julie Benz’s character, “Special Agent Eunice Bloom.” Not only was this the charge least levied, but the reviews from critics who included this mad-lib template critique of the character read as if they just read other reviews, saw the trailer, and assumed. No, critics don’t do that. That’s crazy. You’d a thought the below picture was the Eunice Bloom Julie Benz was portraying…
(I’ll confess, this is the side of Julie Benz I wish I saw more)
To be honest, I have to report with sadness that Julie Benz doesn’t come anywhere near this close to being this naked in Boondock Saints II. In fact, though there are cleavage and leg shots, she stays pretty well dressed.
And while we’re at it, if Troy Duffy is guilty of anything, it’s of making Eunice Bloom too much like Kyra Sedgwick’s Deputy Chief Brenda Johnson on The Closer. Not only that, but the part of the character who gets to act out her agressive fanasies on film.
Though a powerful, intuitive, over-the-top character, it’s hard to see the southern belle Eunice Bloom as the replacement to Special Agent Smecker – the role made famous by Willem Dafoe. It literally takes the full movie for fans to full accept her. But it’s worth the weight.
And, she can kick your ass.
C-Ho Corporate Mesothelioma Rating: 2 out of 10
Movie critics get a 2 out of 10 for this charge because either they didn’t watch the movie or didn’t watch the whole movie. I can’t believe I even had to argue it.
The things people get paid to do.
(Photo Credits: 1) filmschoolrejects.com 2) AceShowBiz.com)
Boondocks Saints 2.0 Triumph Part 4: Nobody Picks On My Brother But Me
Posted on | December 1, 2009 | No Comments
“This is our Mexican.”
- Murphy MacMannus introducing Romeo. Boondock Saints II (Quote transcribed by IMDB.com)
Movie critics had a field day every time the Boondock Saints II script called for an ethnic slur.
I’m not one to necessarily condone ethnic, racial, handicap slurs and the like. Every time Max Power says, “Fuckin’ Ret*ard,” – like Murphy MacMannus did in BDSII - I cringe.
But once again, it depends on your culture.
What the critics failed to point out was that every ethnicity represented in the movie was insulted equally. To the point of equality. There wasn’t whites, blacks, and browns and the like. Characters in the movie didn’t see each other based on the color of their skin so much as they saw each other based on their home.
Take the phrase, “This is our Mexican,” that was used by Murphy to describe Romeo to McGinty (McGinty? That’s the guy who owned the house on Fraggle Rock). Vulgar and vile it was, but it got laughs.
How?
Well, follow me down…
Now when the Saints went to Romeo’s uncle’s place and Romeo’s uncle started talking down about Romeo, the Saints backed Romeo up.
“He’s with us.”
And this phrase got cheers.
Confused?
As the old phrase goes:
“Nobody picks on my brother but me.”
Sometimes, friends make fun of each others backgrounds not because of the color of each others skins but simply to get under each others skin and make them tougher. They can do that because they trust each other. They’ve built up a relationship. They’ve built up community. – That sounds very 2.0-ish
And when someone from the outside tests them, friends pull together.
They’re with you.
Another lesson in separating the “sh*t” from the sh*t, courtesy of C-Ho
C-Ho Corporate Mesothelioma Rating: 3 out of 10
A C-Ho rating of 3 out of 10 goes to the veneered-eared stupid f*ckin’ retard movie critics who don’t know the difference between an ethnic slur and a verbal slug in the arm.
(Photo Credit: Usaniac via Flickkr)
